What Would A Bow Tie Wearer Prefer?

Years ago in Australia, unless you were very well off, you had two choices of cars to choose from, a Ford, or a Holden. And it used to be that people would refer to each other as "Bob? Bob's a Ford man". These days that polarising effect of the culture behind products has inflicted itself again, this time between Android and iPhone. I have used both, I prefer Android. But what would a bow tie man prefer? Well, a bow tie man is an  aesthete and so he would choose an iPhone, but then again, a bow tie man goes against the grain, so he would be an Android man. Whatever it is you choose, I won't judge you. But notice which phone I put first below...

Honestly, Android is just magnificent. I don't much care for touch screens and I don't like doing the iPhone finger swipes to move between screens but I have had to succumb to these things and once I got a grasp I let go and now I don't care because my internet is so fast and I can check my internet banking without using an application and I now have a Wifi hotspot which my iPad can log onto to check my emails. Isn't that cool? I was in a hotel the other day and I had no internet and I logged onto my phone like it was a WIFI and  checked my emails etc.

What really spooks me these days is that if there is a general consensus in the world that you 'wish this would happen' or 'you wish something like that could be built' then just give it 5 years and it will be available. It's sometimes stifling at how quickly new technology finds its way to market. The other day I thought - 'surely the cost of lightweight small aircraft is now within grasp of people, why we still drive on highways is beyond me'. Will it come true? You tell me...

Here is my wish for a phone:

A phone which flashes when it is told to. A phone which never drops out. A phone that upgrades itself to the latest model so I don't need to go back to the Telstra shop EVER again. A phone that connects you to Telstra's Australian representatives and not to an off-shore call centre in Asia where they are trained to speak American-English and answer 10% of your concerns before putting you through to another department on hold. A phone which finds a ring tone to suit your mood without you asking for it. A phone which vibrates very rarely if not ever. A phone which likes to be thrown around and thrashed a bit but then lets you know when it's time to change the cover. A phone with a diamond screen that will not crack even if you throw it from the moon to planet earth. A phone that cancels out the calls of passers by who talk too loudly whilst they are on the phone. A phone with a speaker so loud and with such clarity that you never need to take a portable stereo anywhere ever again. And a phone with a battery that requires you to charge it as often as an US Aircraft Carrier needs to come in to dock. Can you please do this for me Google?