Autumn Leaves Fall, The Creative Juices Slow And Nostalgia Sets In

The Australian winter is near as autumn leaves fall off the scarce deciduous trees which overhang some of my favourite streets of Sydney. Today as the wind swept some leaves up and I sped along my route for home, I was drawn to colder music and I felt bereft of new ideas and a nostalgia for time that had passed. It is something that you ought to let wash through you but today it had me in it's grip. Some new silks had come off the press but the usual delight I got from seeing new stock wasn't there and I held some nervous energy about whether I was changing and evolving at the same pace as everything around me. It didn't help that last night I watched old videos from my travels in 2001 and how much I had changed, no longer as fresh and bright faced as I once was. As my friends and I watched the videos we noted that one of the party guests had died when his heart had ruptured and another was now a quadriplegic. So you can imagine the effect on me when the following song randomly came up on my shuffle.

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,

blue skies from pain.

Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?

A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts? 

Hot ashes for trees?

Hot air for a cool breeze?

Cold comfort for change?

And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.

We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,

Running over the same old ground. 

What have we found? The same old fears.

Wish you were here.