Last night a friend of mine turned up at my drinks party with a gift that would trump anything else I was given this year for my birthday. I could hear him whistle his signature whistle from outside my apartment block and when I looked down I could see him holding four bags of ice, his wife in tow carrying something light but large. I assumed it was a poster or a photograph of me.
'What is it?'
'Don't you go asking, you just get inside and go into the other room and don't come out until we call you'.
And when I came back, Ron De Jeremy was at my party, standing still, smiling at everyone and looking his best in black tie. To my surprise, the rum also tasted nice, quite a bit of spice to it. I am having a nip of it as I type.
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